A sketch - The Chat

So I have had a disagreement over the inclusion of a sketch in a radio show. I think it's hilarious. They don't think it'll work. Judge for yourself.

Note that the two main voices sound like lower class chav style voices.

The Chat

Ringing...

Dazza: Hello is that-

Jase: Dazza?!

Dazza: Jase? IS that you?

Jase: Oh mate! How’s it going? What’s up man?

Dazza: Oh this is mental! Haven’t spoken to you in what...a while. God!

Jase: Yeah so what’s going on dude?

Dazza: Well you know, this and that. Got a new bird on the go. Clarissa. She’s top man.

Jase: Ace.

Dazza: Yeah and err...living in Weston Road. Nice little place there. Hooked up the old hi-fi the other day. Pretty sweet.

Jase: Nice, nice...

Dazze: So what about you Jase, me old man? How’s it going?

Jase: Oh mate! Oh mate, OH MATE! What can I say? Life is good! Got a kid!

Dazza: A kid?

Jase: Yeah! With Gemma. Felix. He’s cute as hell. Ah man.

Dazza: That’s great! Proper good, dude.

Jase: Yeah...oh God we should have a beer!

Dazza: Yeah, that’d be awesome. Oh man! My old buddy Jase on the phone! (to someone else) My old buddy Jase! Come say hi..come on.

Lisa: I don’t want..hello?

Jase: Haha! Oh God! Hello?

Pause.

Dazza: Me again mate! Oh that’s Lisa! Work colleague. Oh she’s scowling at me now. Proper scowling! Ah she’s mental.

Jase: Classic mate, classic.

Dazza: Yeah! So where were we?

Jase: A beer!

Dazza: Yes! Do you still know Ricky B?

Jase: Yeah.

Dazza: Text him man. He’s got my number. I mean I should probably be telling you about this thing anyways.

Jase: Oh, I guess so then. What’s the deets?

Dazza: (suddenly serious) right we need an ambulance over to 43 Wellington Road. Possible cardiac arrest. 50 year old male with breathing problems and we need an ambulance there quick.

Jase: On my way.




So that's it. Maybe I'm biased but I think the punchline is really pretty strong. But I want to know...It doesn't make to much difference as I'm taking it to Edinburgh but yeah...

If only I was doing stand-up today...

My opening gag would be something like this:

'Hello, and to my. I it. Thing is, jokes, if you, stuff.

Oh sorry, I was doing my routine in the style of MP's expenses forms released the other day.'

Or something like that. I don't know really.

Writing a film - here's a joke

I am currently writing a film script just because, well, because I can really.

But here is a joke that if i ever take to the stage I shall use as an opening gag. Perhaps.

"You know I've been thinking a lot about the world recently and you know what's great?...........Me."

Ah, arrogance. I suppose I'd follow this up with something on positive thinking. Maybe say it's be great if Gordon Brown thought positively but it must be hard to do with his surname. Brown. It's one up from beige, the most dull colour of them all. Then i'd talk about hwo brilliant it'd be if he was called Gordon Pink or Gordon Orange. then who knows, with a little more effort I could end up talking about the Reservoir Dogs being involved in British Politics.

I just came up with that as I was writing. I quite it like it. Hmm...