"Trust Me...

...I'm a doctor."

Well a random thought just hit me.

Did that phrase ever change when Harold Shipman was around?

"I can't trust you."
"You can! Trust me, I'm a doc- oh no. I know what it is. It's the fact I killed all those people isn't it?"

Yes Harold, yes it is. There's a joke in here somewhere but I am too tired to work out where.

Praying

Okay, I am most proud of this joke, which came to me as I walked past the church on my way home this evening. I could probably elaborate but I love its simplicity.

"I'm not saying religion is a bad thing, just that it confuses me, the blind faith of it all. Take for example, praying. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, just that anything where you have to get on your knees to get the job done perhaps shouldn't be trusted. And then they expect YOU to give money to THEM after YOU were the one on YOUR knees? These churches have got it made..."

And that's it. And yes, I am most proud of myself for it.

St John's Ambulance

I was at a gig the other day and a pretty much full can of Carling was chucked at me from behind. Blood everywhere. St John's Ambulance had seen nothing like it so I told them it was a drink made from malted barley which they'd be able to drink when they are old enough. I then gave them a lollipop each and went on my way.

Girlfriend and the Internet

So, some older people don't seem to understand that relationships can form through the internet, that for some reason it's difficult to forge a meaningful partnership with someone through the internet without meeting face to face. They also claim it's scary - what kind of odd and bizarre people do you get online? But with the advent of social networks and instant messengers I don't subscribe to this view. I mean I met my girlfriend through the internet. She doesn't yet know she's my girlfriend...

Film idea

So yeah.

Haven't written here for a bit as I was concentrating on passing my driving test which I passed. Excellent.

Anyway, after watching The Hangover, I have decided to try and come up with a hilarious film premise. So far, I have failed. But i'm sure I'll think one up soon enough.

In the mean time I shall leave you with this joke that I came up with way way back.

Q: What do you call and red head who invades the world?

A: Gingerskahn.

Radical.

Writing a film - here's a joke

I am currently writing a film script just because, well, because I can really.

But here is a joke that if i ever take to the stage I shall use as an opening gag. Perhaps.

"You know I've been thinking a lot about the world recently and you know what's great?...........Me."

Ah, arrogance. I suppose I'd follow this up with something on positive thinking. Maybe say it's be great if Gordon Brown thought positively but it must be hard to do with his surname. Brown. It's one up from beige, the most dull colour of them all. Then i'd talk about hwo brilliant it'd be if he was called Gordon Pink or Gordon Orange. then who knows, with a little more effort I could end up talking about the Reservoir Dogs being involved in British Politics.

I just came up with that as I was writing. I quite it like it. Hmm...