Another Hitler based joke thing.

Last night I had a bit of a stand up style joke.

I'll see if I can tell it well.

Basically...it goes like this.

"People always seem to stereotype others based on their creative impulses. Something like 'not a hard worker because they have chosen to have a tattoo on their forehead'. Something like that. But I think this is harsh. I mean it may be true, but you only need to look at one man to prove it wasn't. Adolf Hitler. Look at what he achieved and he was a lazy shaver. Imagine if he wasn't so casual with regards to so many things; so haphazard about his own personal facial hair. Think about what he could have done if he put his mind to it and actually tried once in a while..."

So it was something like that. Basically riffing along the lines of Hitler not shaving meaning he was lazy and what could have been...

Over and out.

Ex-Nazi

It's a cruel place to get comedy from, but I shall try anyway!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/8364447.stm

The headline reads - 'Ex-Nazi' charged with 58 murders.

Now...how does one go about becoming an Ex-Nazi? Is it the moment Hitler died, he went, "I guess that's that, then." And hung up his cap.

Or is as he was at a holocaust camp and was suddenly tapped on the shoulder.

"Err, Hans (no stereotypical names with me), what are you doing?"
"Oh shit...I've...I've become a Nazi haven't I?"
"Yes, Hans. Yes you have."
"Ah shit. From now on..I shall be an ex-Nazi!"

And from then on, he put Ex-Nazi on his CV? Wouldn't there be a glaring 6 year gap on the CV?

"So..1939 to 1945, what was going on?"
"Err...oh is that not on there? I do apologise, they should be there."
"Well what were you doing?"
"Err..Human Resources..in Berlin."

Harsh but...well just harsh probably. But I like it.

Animal Experiments and Hitler's Hairdresser

So today I have been thinking about animal experiments. Nothing cruel just like...well you know when all the sheep of a flock are sheared for their wool? What if you only sheared one and watch what happens? That could be interesting. You get a kind of punk sheep as a result. One who doesn't vie a shit due to it's skin head, well skin body type appearance.

"I'm a baaaaaaad ass motherfucker."

Then I thought no. Where you could really have fun is by feeding a sloth some coffee. and get it proper addicted. Or any kind of caffeine. A sloth on red bull. Just imagine that.

"I'm kind of tired, man. Thought I might rest here."
"What? No! Check this out, I'm climbing this branch. Woo, yer!"

I dunno really. These are all just kind of ideas of jokes rather than actual jokes currently. Although the image f a hyper sloth is pretty cool. He could pretend to be slow like the others then run around when the zookeeper comes to fetch him.

But animal experiments, I don't really agree with that.

"Dude, I just put lipstick on a rabbit."
"What? Why?"
"Dude I just grafted an ear onto a mouse!"
"what the fu- what are you, a Nazi? What the hell is wrong with you Dave?"

The Nazi's too, I have a problem with them. I mean who doesn't right. But I have this theory that Hitler, you know for all his bad points, his appearance was well groomed. Someone had to do that right? Hitler's hairdresser. That man I'd love to have a chat with. Hitler's hairdresser. He had scissors so close to Hitler's neck and yet he chose to cut his hair with them? C'mon man, just a quick jab to the neck and it's all over. Blood everywhere. Hitler dead. World War II. Over.

(in camp accent) "I couldn't possibly d that, Henry, these scissors are da finest stainless steel!"

Gah. Whatever, I'm out of here. Adios amigos.