I have hurt my knee

And can barely walk. But why let that get in the way of a good joke?

Here's one I came up with the other day.

What do you call a racist entertainer?

A ku klux clown.

Oh yes. Off to casualty in a few minutes. Gotta keep the humour going!

New Joke - Opera

Okay, this is a joke I came up with earlier when basically talking to myself. It isn't good but is meant as some kind of opening joke for standup (if I could ever get the nerve to do it.)

'Hello, hello hello, HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (opera style singing) - yes I sometimes break into opera when on stage. Actually, I also once broke into an opera when I was younger and a bit of a jack the lad type. My friend and I, we broke into the Bournemouth Opera House, which is a beautiful building if you have never been. Anyway we found the safe, cracked it and were escaping with armfuls of cash. As we were making our getaway though, the police entered and my friend had foolishly brought a BB gun with him. Now, the officers saw this and understandably took it to be a real gun and they fired a shot at us. Now they missed thankfully but we were so taken aback we thrust the money into the air, and a cloud of cash enveloped us. The officers, thinking this was still a high security breach fired for us once more, and luckily only managed to hit the high notes.'

For some reason I like it. A beautiful crappy joke to start a set.