Essays to Suicide Bombers

Let's see what I come out with here.

'Hi.

So I'm a student. Are you all students? Yeah? Anyone got any deadlines looming? Yeah? And yet you thought you'd waste a night coming here. Nice plan, dude. I mean...it's only three and a half grand we're wasting.

A YEAR.

Well...I only ask because I'm here when I have an essay deadline looming. It's five days away but I think that's okay. Would everyone agree with me that that's okay? Yeah. Five hours and then you may question it. But five days is fine.

God did some amazing work in five days. I mean some of it's shoddy, let's not lie. France was a particularly bad idea. And putting Germany next to Poland on the map. I mean, he's meant to be all knowing so surely he knew what was going to happen there. When you think about it, God didn't really think it through. He put all the close rivals next to each other on the global map. What a tool. I mean putting Palestine next to Israel was just asking for trouble. We know what they're like.

I think it's hard for us as a nation to understand what is going on in Palestine and Israel. My friend once tried to put it into context by saying with a shake of his head, 'Suicide bombers. They're fucking everywhere.' Well...no they're not. I mean they are there but not for long. So, I'm not really sure if they are a set group of people really.

But I think it'd be weird if we had suicide bombers in the UK because the way I see it, the UK just wouldn't care.

'What's happened sorry? He's blown himself up? Well what did he do that for? It's not like the train's never going to arrive, it's just a few minutes late.'

Well, I feel I have procrastinated from my essay enough and I have no idea how I got onto talking about suicide bombers after intending to write about essays as I am stuck on one as I type. But there we go.

Controversial - School Shootings

Today I came up with a stand up skit which I think is just plain controversial. Possibly offensive. Well, almost certainly offensive. I'm not really sure.

Simply put, I was thinking about that Silent Witness episode a week and a bit ago, where there is a uni shooting and how odd it was that only the shooters knew their way around the uni perfectly, when even the Dean and Leo had differing on opinions on how to get from place to place.

So...my magic mind conjured up a humorous alternative look at the thought process of the shooters and it concludes with a mime and belief process that the characters in fact only wanted to kill one person during their school massacre, and they then tried to run away but got lost on their escape.

Realising they can't find the exit, they shoot every person that comes near them because they might get told on for shooting and killing other members. The whole thing escalates obviously until the shooter itches his head with his gun, in disbelief that they cannot find the exit to get away...when doing this he accidentally shoots himself through the head.

Thus ends the skit. As you can see, it's fairly controversial but...I don't know...the controversy that it could create is kind of why I like it...