Dear HP Computers...

I just sent this email to HP. I hope they solve my laptop issue.



Subject: Webcam Problem

Hi to whomever happens to be in control of the help@HP email address,

I do hope you are well. I, as it happens, am not well. In terms of health, I was absolutely fine. And then my laptop, made by you guys, really started to play up and my stress levels went through the roof. I would send you the bill, but here in the UK we have the NHS so you are getting off lightly.

Put simply, where has my disc drive gone? I don't mean in the physical sense of the word because I can see it. It's there in front of me now. Just sitting there, waiting to be used. The problem is it can't actually be used because my precious HP Pavilion dv9000 laptop doesn't seem to realise the disc drive is there waiting to be used. I don't know where it thinks it has gone but it certainly doesn't think it exists. I put a disc in it. It made the whole whirring sound and then gave up. I sighed. I wasn't expecting it to work because it hasn't worked for months anyway. I just thought I'd give you a bit of back story before I talk about the thing that is really annoying me.

You know that service you can use? That does the free internet video calls? Skype? Do you use it? Because I used to before my laptop decided it didn't have a microphone integrated into it. Luckily, I still had a webcam that could send images to my friend! Except, I didn't did I? Because my laptop deleted that too. Hence the 'Webcam Problem' title I chose for the subject of this email. Except it's not really a problem because according to my HP laptop, this webcam doesn't exist. Deep. Quite the product you created here, HP. This whole webcam problem didn't bother me at first though though because unlike seemingly a lot of people who probably contact you, I know that Google (sorry to mention a different brand name in this email) exists and many computer geeks help solve others computer problems on various forums on the Internet. Fantastic.

After a bit of 'googling', it transpired that all I had to do was go into my Control Panel, go into Device Manager and have a look at Imaging Devices. From there I could install some new driver software for the webcam or update it as I saw fit. If you could do that now on whatever machine you use, that'd be great. Did you find it? Under imaging devices? Then I can only assume that you aren't using an HP product. If you are, you certainly aren't using the HP Pavilion dv9000 because my personal HP Pavilion dv9000 has no imaging devices section. It doesn't think the webcam exists. Strange, considering I can see it right in front of me. Integrated into the laptop.

Fair enough, I thought. Fair enough. I shall visit the HP website, do some voodoo magic and see if I can't get this baby up and running again. I did as the HP website said I should do if my webcam disappears upon upgrading to Windows Vista Service Pack 2. Go to imaging devices and...hey! Hang on a second! There is no imaging devices! and your website offers no support for that particular problem. So I did a bit more googling. What a company they are. They helped me in my hour of need. I discovered from a website that I could install an Acer driver for the webcam which would get it working again. The person who provided this advice was an HP user so it seemed like nothing could go wrong. I did as he explained. Installed it, the laptop restarted, I checked Device Manager and THERE IT WAS. Imaging Devices. Like manna from Heaven. I updated my Twitter status in delight! My HP webcam was working! I then updated Facebook too. Boy, how I celebrated. I should really stop mentioning brand names. Apologies again. Very odd though, considering your product told me this video device didn't exist mere minutes earlier.

I loaded up the webcam and there I was. In colour! I looked outrageously stressed (remember, the medical thing earlier) but ultimately relieved. I had fixed my webcam. Now to share this in the only way I knew how. Use the 'cam' on the 'web'. Hello Skype! (Again I am sorry to mention a different brand. I should have apologised for mentioning their name earlier. Please forgive me.) I launched Skype. And then... nothing. Quite literally in nothing in fact. My screen turned black. That was it. Boom. The laptop was done. Now, being an HP user yourself, you probably know this can happen from time to time. The laptop struggles with realising it doesn't have a CD drive or, in this case I suspect, gets excited at finding the webcam again. Not a problem. I wait. Sometime it decides the screen can work again. Not this time though. The Quickplay lights were still on but alas, the screen was done for. So I turn it off.

I wait for a few seconds because that always helps. But I'm afraid this tale doesn't have a happy ending. Waiting a few seconds didn't help at all. In fact, it merely delayed my misery and disappointment in your product once more. Eventually the laptop loaded. I typed in my password and wasn't that bothered at all because hey, I still had my webcam. But like a Father just getting used to having a child, I wanted to check on my baby. So I went to check Imaging Devices. Imaging Devices didn't exist. My webcam was dead. It was gone. Again. This happened about twenty minutes ago now and, to tell you the truth, I still haven't got over the loss. It would be easier to get over if the laptop would at least be honest with me and remove the physical part of the webcam. But no. It says it doesn't exist. It did exist. It does exist. I can see it now, and the memories I shared with it. That final blue flicker. The way it lit me up that one last time before your product self destructed and decided the consumer had no need for it's services.

Well I do have need for it's services. I'm not asking for a miracle. At least, I don't think I am. I am simply reaching out to you in my time of need. Where the hell does the Imaging Devices and webcam disappear to? I'd really appreciate it if you could give the gift of life back to my little integrated webcam. We shared some great times together and in my heart, I hope there are still more great times to come. In all seriousness though, I am not sure that is hope I am feeling in my heart but stress. Stress riding on a wave of anger, annoyance and disbelief at HP and their laptop model by the name of the Pavilion dv9000. In particular, the one I own.

Thank you for taking the time to read this and if you smiled or laughed at any part of this email, remember schadenfreude exists and that you are taking pleasure from my suffering. I am simply glad that my webcam didn't live to sense that this has occurred. I'd love for it to live a little longer in the future though so if you could sort out my problem, that'd be great.

Kind regards,

Henry Fosdike