Theme Parks

Here's a bizarre though I had today.

Why is it that when you are about 9 or 10 and you are on a day out at the theme park with your family, you are desperate to be tall enough for the rides? Even going so far as to fully extend your back to be the desired 140 or 150 cm.

There is a reason that the minimum height for the ride is that measurement. Because that's the safe height. The height where you won't die.

So what kids are effectively doing, as they fight for the right to goooooo die! (Random Beastie boys reference...) is running to the ruler and basically saying, "Please, I want to put my life in danger, for the sake of a cheap thrill."

The best bit about this is that parents don't really seem to care. "Fuck it, that's less weight in the back of the car when we're driving home." I remember my Dad used to just give me the benefit of the doubt. I didn't even have to go up to the ruler. "Yeah, you're probably tall enough." Cheers, Dad.

It's only when you get on these rides, as a 9 or 10 year old, whizzing around at breakneck speed or stopping just short of a vertical drop for pure excitement, that you begin to reassess. "Hmm...maybe it would have been better if I wasn't 150...AAAARGH!"

My brothers used to do the whole no hands thing. Specially for the camera. some kind of "Yeah, no hands!" thing. Yeah, try no seatbelt, bitches, then let's see who'll be smiling. Also, and this is probably another reason why no hands on a ride annoys me, is that the first time I tried it, I happened to be sitting next to someone whose right hand was...well...it wasn't there. I felt like a bit of a dick when I realised, as I had been waving my hands all over the place like some sort of amateur magician.

I remember on Tidal Wave at Thorpe Park, we were allowed to set off before my Dad has actually put the long metal bar locked in place. That would have been interesting hurtling down that ride. Our mangled bodies creating a mixture of water, blood and loose limbs flying towards the assembled public. Luckily, my Dad got the bar in place and all was good. Happy memories. Unfortunately, the people behind us weren't so lucky and they all died.

But we survived, so, y'know...every cloud and all that.