TK Maxx

When I was in year 10 I think it was, we had to fill out a form on some computer programme which told us what job would be perfect for us when we left school. This computer programme, which I seem to remember was called Kudos, decided that the perfect job for me was Sign Maker. That's right, someone that had just decided in his options to give up anything DT related, and had also given up Art, would be right at home in a job which, if I rose far up the sign making ladder, could eventually land me a massive £19,000 a year. Naturally, I still salivate at the thought of this career. Second place if you were wondering, went to me becoming a Stage/Floor Manager at a Theatre or Television Studio. That was a pretty good call by Kudos, to be fair. I'm at least interested in that kind of industry.

Anyway, back to the point. What I am wondering dear reader, is what the hell did the guy who has the easiest job in the world get? I don't really care obviously, it just links in nicely for me to tell you what the easiest job in the world must be. If you are wondering what the easiest job in the world is, it is quite simply Head Buyer for TK Maxx. Or maybe Chief of Sales. I don't know what the exact job title would be but he or she undoubtedly has the easiest job in the world.

If you are unfamiliar with TK Maxx, it is a shop which for the most part, has the highest turnover of complete crap you have ever seen. My Auntie thinks it is brilliant for its cheap clothes. but 99.9% of clothes in TK Maxx are horrendous. The reason they are there and selling below RRP is because nobody else wanted them. The thing is with TK Maxx, and its supporters, is that they only ever mention the clothes, forgetting that at least a quarter of the store is made up of other completely useless shit.

Whenever I go in there, I generally flick through a couple of T-Shirts, note they are all still completely defunct of any redeeming features, and then I head to Africa. Before visiting the garden. And then the library. And then Toys 'R' Us. All within one aisle of each other. The last time I was there I looked at some funky African style tribal mask (made in Spain!), a stone snail for the garden, a book by Chantelle from Celebrity Big Brother a few years ago and then some Wizard gaming figures which comprised of 3 characters in robes which all looked suspiciously like another far more famous wizard franchise. Still...only £5.99!

My question is ... who buys this crap? I mean, really? Really? REALLY?! The fact it was in the store means that people do clearly buy this stuff and although it has no redeeming value whatsoever, does sell. Thus, I can only assume the Head Buyer for TK Maxx has the easiest job of all time. I assume he buys stuff on a simple question and answer survey:

1. Would they buy it for themselves?

Yes - Pass.
No - Proceed to question two.

2. Does it have any redeeming qualities?

Yes - Pass.
No - Buy it for TK Maxx.

I assume that is how items are bought in bulk for TK Maxx. I could be wrong, he may just ask the seller to describe it and if they start with, "Well, it's a bit shit really..." Then it gets added to the company credit card.

So there you go. Head Buyer of TK Maxx. They sell crap. As a result, it's the easiest job in the world.