The Winter Collection

Here's something I have been meaning to blog for a while.

'The winter collection'.

'The winter collection' is something I generally attribute to things like furniture - "It's part of our Winter collection" or clothes - "This beautiful sleek silver dress is part of our Winter collection." hat I would not attribute a phrase like Winter collection to, is something which I have found it printed upon.

Are you ready for this? Toilet roll. That's middle class if you're wondering. the working class call is bog roll, the upper classes maybe toilet paper and the full on royalty are the only ones who call it by what it says on the packet - toilet tissue. "It's like tissue for the nose, but for the rectal passage, Charles." "Wow, Camilla, we can now dispense with young Jennings and his bare hand. How marvellous."

Anyway, yes, Andrex have released their seasonal toilet paper, sorry, toilet tissue, and they have called it 'The Winter Collection'. What makes it a part of 'The Winter collection' I presume, are the snowflakes that are printed upon every sheet. Now I appreciate this new design, right up until I wipe my shit-stained ass with it.

So really Andrex, next time you're planning on releasing 'The Spring collection' with lambs prancing all over it, I urge you, if only to save some money, to reconsider.